I’m really good at reading people. I know when people are lying by the little ways their eyes twitch, the subtle change in the their facial muscles, or the way they fidget with their hands. Body language says a lot. And, to the detriment of many friendships and family relationships over the past few years, I’ve realized a lot of my natural lie-detecting potential and let’s just say, it hasn’t been pleasant.
This week, I wanted to focus on how to stop being so judgmental. With my lie-detecting superpower comes a tendency to make snap decisions on who a person is and how our relationship will go. Oftentimes, this stops me from getting close to them. Many times in my life, I’ve wondered how relationships might have turned out if I hadn’t picked up on a lie or hint of dishonesty. Can you really tell how a person will be throughout an entire relationship by just one moment of dishonesty? Does it depend on the size of the moment, or the act itself? I’m not sure what the criteria should be.
So, this week I decided to focus on how I can stop being so judgmental and start accepting that sometimes, people can’t tell the truth. And, my reading was very interesting.
I was so humbled this week to receive a beautiful deck from an incredible lady named Cheryl (check out her beautiful handcrafted bath, body & home products on her website). She sent me a deck called Tattoo Tarot and I am in love with it. All of the card art is done in traditional flash tattoo style, and it’s very Sailor Jerry-esque. If you don’t know me in real life, I have quite a few tattoos in this style, and so I felt like I could really enjoy this deck.
I decided to draw four cards. I’d like to say something led me to do this, but honestly, I have been stuck at three cards, and two cards felt like too few, and five seemed overwhelming. So, I pulled a Goldilocks, and four was just right.
II. High Priestess
3 Keywords: Intuition, understanding, deep knowledge.
To me, this card signifies that I have this intuition and deeper understanding when it comes to human nature. Maybe it’s the curiosity I have for how the mind works, but I can rationalize behavior in a very scientific way.
6 of Wands
3 Keywords: Hopes, expectation fulfilled, good news.
I struggled to find meaning in this card. Synchronicity took a day off with me on this with one. Maybe when I first sense dishonesty in a person, and they wind up veritably being a liar, it’s almost a relief that I don’t have to keep wondering who they really are. This stops me from getting close to people, big time.
2 of Cups
2 Keywords: Ability/willingness to compromise, partnership.
I think the fact that this card isn’t reversed probably tells me that my openness to giving people second chances is there; I just need to allow it to happen. I need to sometimes compromise my knee-jerk belief that one chance is enough, and realize that not everyone has the strict, sometimes suffocating, moral code that I have.
5 of Cups (Reversed)
3 Keywords: Disappointing relationships, bitterness, new start.
Well, THIS card had nothing good to say, that’s for sure! Holy cow, all five cups seemed to runeth over with negativity! What I pulled from this is that, unless I stop judging people by my own standards and not by who they are capable of being, all of my relationships will be disappointing. It’s time for me to give people the opportunity to get a fresh start with a second chance.
I struggled pulling this whole reading into a cohesive thing, I’ll admit. Generally, when I’m doing these readings, I try to concentrate and meditate on the cards. This time, there were noises, cats, and guinea pigs distracting me; but I think I pulled something together.
I have a deep understanding of people at a very early stage of any relationship; sometimes, even during the very first conversation. The problem is, if I sense any dishonesty within them, it becomes almost a need for me to prove myself right; and I almost always do. Yes, I fulfill my expectations, but I always suffer. If I want to form meaningful relationships based not on my own expectations of others, but their actual personalities and abilities, I have to stop having the knee-jerk reaction to judge and run, and start being more open to the fact that not everyone is honest all the time; it’s just (most) human nature. Sometimes, people lie because they’re scared, or because they don’t want to hurt people with the truth. Sometimes, a lie isn’t harmful, and really is meant with the best of intentions. Unless I relax and make a few changes, my relationships will always be distant and shallow.
WHEW that was a deep one! From here on out, I’ll be posting Tarot Tuesday once a month instead of every week; it’s just too much to share, and probably a little too deep for this outlet. But, I’ll still share once a month and I hope my experience using tarot as a critical thinking tool can help you too!